Being in a relationship has its warm and fuzzy moments. But there’s also daily downsides that we deal with as women that gender stereotypes make even more difficult. Having a boyfriend is great, but the various struggles that arise from that can be pretty problematic, and guys have no idea!
1. Overanalyzing the little stuff. What he won’t even remember the next day, we will obsess about for months. And it might not have any merit, but there’s also that sliver of possibility that it could…but we could never express it, or he’d think we were crazy and run away!
2. The constant wonder if he’ll find something new and shiny and get bored of you. There are so many women parading around like peacocks, and it takes a seriously loyal guy to not pay attention to any of that. Even if he is loyal, that paranoia is always kind of there.
3. On a related note, dealing with the attention of other women but needing to not act jealous because when women do it, it’s considered possessive or crazy. When it’s the other way around, a girl is a flirt or a slut, so we can’t have our flirty fun either. So frustrating.
4. Dealing with him having guys over if you guys live together, and pretending that you’re totally cool with the barrage of sports screaming, nacho stains, and toddler-aged dude humor. Lady boner gone 4ever. But we want the guys to think we’re chill, so we play along.
5. If he hasn’t declared you his girlfriend, but it’s pretty obvious that the two of you are in a relationship. He calls you his girl, or bae, but you’re constantly wondering about that “official” status, while he probably had that moment a while ago and just didn’t feel the need to have a discussion about it, so instead you have these nerve-wracking thoughts.
6. Guys can hit you up to hang out whenever, but god forbid you want to text him throughout the day or hang out more than a couple of days in a row! If he does it, it’s sweet, but if you do it, it’s needy. And he might then leave you for that resulting clinginess. Another double standard that we tolerate as women.
7. Being “ladylike” in front of him all the time. Not all girl is like that – when she’s by herself or with her best friends, the bra comes off, the old and stained XL tee comes on, as well as unattractive splotches of acne cream. But this level of nakedness around your man could turn him off, so we go through the effort of looking pretty and sweet around them 24/7, which is basically a lie.
8. On another note, pretending that you have zero body hair while you manically shave your legs in the bathroom when he arrives as an impromptu surprise with flowers. Maybe we’ll get to let go of this struggle in marriage, but as of now, crawling into bed with bae with leg-stubble or fuzzy calves isn’t a reality we’re prepared to face.
9. The pressure of settling down and having kids. Often, men think that women have this crazed Disney fantasy of domestic life that comes out of nowhere. But the pressure women face to get married and pay attention to their “biological clock” is ten-fold and starts way earlier on for us, incepting our brains. And men are scared of “moving too fast.” Tell us about it!
10. Faking orgasms. Sometimes, a man doesn’t get the job done and you don’t want to hurt his ego, so instead, you’ll fake your own pleasure. And getting the job done with your vibrator after is alright, but not exactly what you were looking for. And god forbid you tell him you didn’t finish or he’ll think “he’s not good enough”, so you feign satisfaction and leave with the female equivalent of blue balls.
11. Having our feelings dismissed and being gaslighted in a situation. We never want to be seen as overreacting (cue the annoying submissive GF role for the thousandth time), and over time, that can lead to men being condescending and gaslighting us (telling us that we’re not thinking or feeling what they really are. For instance, “overreacting”, when our feelings are valid). And they say women are manipulative! Ugh. Time to watch “Gone Girl” to cheer up a bit.
1. Overanalyzing the little stuff. What he won’t even remember the next day, we will obsess about for months. And it might not have any merit, but there’s also that sliver of possibility that it could…but we could never express it, or he’d think we were crazy and run away!
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